It’s perfectly fine to break up with friends you’re just not that into

“Breaking up is hard to do”. But so is hanging out with someone who makes you feel awkward af. (tweet that)

Let me rephrase that. It’s not that they make you feel awkward; it’s that you feel awkward around them. They aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just… them. Or you. Or you with them. But somehow the conversation always dies down, it gets awkward, and you dread it.

On the flip side, you have that other friend, with whom there are never ever awkward silences — but that’s because she never stops talking about herself and her problems. Not only is it an unbalanced relationship you two have, but it’s a depressing one. You walk away feeling drained, feeling like you would have rather not gone out at all.

I’ve had interactions with both of these people. And I’ve separated myself from both of them. The first one was a very kind friend, but something about our vibe together just felt awkward, so when we naturally drifted, I let it happen and made absolutely no effort to maintain the friendship.

The other, I never got that close with in the first place (you can only get so close when a relationship is one-sided.) And so I just stopped attending events where this person would be there.

Instead, I have chosen to nurture friendships with people I actually like. (tweet that)

Imagine that! Positive interactions where I come away from it feeling great, and feeling like there’s never enough time to talk about all the great things we want to share with each other. Comparing the social circle I have now to the one I had a few years ago is like night and day. Back then I felt like an outsider; I felt depressed and like I had no really fulfilling interactions in my life. Now I have an abundance of them.

“If you keep what you don’t want, you’ll never have enough room for what you do want.” (tweet that)

Feeling too guilty to end things with somebody?

Trust me, they’ll get over it. Chances are, it hasn’t been that fulfilling for them either. I doubt they’ll be completely blindsided. Plus, just don’t be a jerk about it and you can walk away guilt-free. It’s really okay. And if you still feel guilty, remember that you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness but your own.

What decisions can you make about who you spend your time with, that will bring you happiness today?

Decluttering my life has brought me peace of mind and relief from the world around me. There’s nothing like walking into the space you created and knowing you have nothing more than what you need. I write articles to help others create that same feeling for themselves.

2 Replies

  • A few years back I ended a 20+ year friendship. I remember feeling instantly relieved that it was over. We weren’t really “friends” anymore, but I think we were both too afraid to admit it at first. As soon as I said it, she agreed that she felt the same as me.

    • Wow, that’s a long friendship! It’s awesome you both felt the same way on it. I think so often that’s the case but we are afraid to be the first to admit it. Glad you had the courage to do what felt right!

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